Its official. I’ve officially forgotten what’s its liek to be happy.? Like truly innately happy. Alice has mentioned it, lily has mentioned it.. and now I feel it. Lol being in cali makes a dfference cuz my friends r here, but it doesn’t reeally mae me happy. Hahah again I find myself running to the securty of alcohol,. Oh well. I hope thos phase or whatever the fuck this is blows over soon…. soon please.