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Idk… I guess I still have a lot to learn. Finally interested in someone, and when it started looking good, I eff it up. Lol I eff everything up. Every fucking thing that seems good and promising, I always fuck it up somehow. I guess all the heartbreak I went through with niki didn’t teach me shit. I thought I learned and grew, but I guess I’m still stuck… this seemingly continuous annoying fucking cycle… fuck… I thought I deserved some good things, paid my dues and whatnot… but I guess that’s not the case… still have lots to learn. Still have a lot to go through. Still need to fucking grow. Pain upon pain upon more pain and then some more pain on top of that. Where’s my break? Seriously… some divine intervention or something would be nice right now. I can’t do this shit anymore…. fuck my life. I think I should just get used to unhappiness cuz it is obviously meant to be my norm… lol life has such a sense of fucking humor. This is obviously amusing to somebody… sadly that somebody’s not me…
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